So I did a thing! It’s been a month since I gave birth at home, and it was the best decision I made this year. Four children later, I wish I gave birth at home with the other three.
So let’s go back to the beginning…
Last year I was working as a case manager full time, working as a therapist part time and going to school. The case manager position was too much to handle, as I was working close to 60 hours per week and never ending paperwork. Being a mom of 3 at the time, I had to decide; do I keep my full time or leave and do therapy full time. Both options had its pros and cons, which I’ll talk about another time. Ultimately, I chose to leave my job of 5 ½ years and pursue being a therapist as an independent contractor full time. Even though it was more flexible, it meant that I would lose medical insurance and had to seek my own. My sisterfriend advised me to get a full medical checkup completed before losing the insurance through my job, and I took her advice. I went for a full workup, exam and blood tests in late November with a new doctor’s office in South Jersey. By mid- December I returned to the doctor’s office to which they proceeded to congratulate me on my pregnancy. Only if y’all could have seen my facial expression!
This was an unexpected but much welcomed surprise!! I told the doctor to let me know how far long I was because I had plans for 2020, and I had to make sure I prepared for a new baby and this life transition. The doctor let me know that according to the bloodwork I was between 5-7 weeks pregnant, so that gave me enough time to get ready. However, I asked to be scheduled for an ultrasound to be sure. A few weeks later, the ultrasound appointment revealed that I was actually further along. I was 21 weeks pregnant! My birth month went from July/August to May!
So yea, if you didn’t catch on yet, I had a baby a month ago!
After having several-conflicting conversations with my obgyn and staff, I decided to go with the homebirth.
When I was about 36 weeks, I hired a doula and midwife, by the grace of God. At that time, most midwives were either booked or not accepting patients who were past 32 weeks. There were some emotional highs and lows- my due date was supposed to be May 16 according to the ultrasound, and when that day came, we waited for baby to come. I was ready to go! We cleaned up the house again, got the birthing pool ready in my home office and laid out my postpartum outfit. A week later we were still waiting for baby to come. I had an appointment with my midwife, Sam, and at this point I was pushing 41 weeks. I was so nervous to meet with her, because I thought she was going to have me induced. Of course, she made me feel so comfortable and eased my anxiety. She reminded me that I had until 42 weeks before we start to explore more options.
We scheduled an appointment for the following week with the hopes that baby would come by then. A whole week later… Baby did not want to come! At this point, I was pushing 42 weeks, and the midwife let me know that in the state of NJ a midwife must transfer care to a hospital when a pregnant woman surpasses 42 weeks. Honestly, I started to get upset at this point. I tried the midwives brew the week before and nothing happened. So, I asked my midwife for another concoction to jumpstart the labor. She gave me the concoction, and I tried it the next day around 3pm.
Within hours I started to feel contractions! I started to feel pressure and contractions around 10pm. By 3am, I started to feel pressure in my back and intense contractions every 2 minutes which lasted for 35 seconds. At that time, I told my husband to contact my doula, Rosalia, and midwife and give them an update. They were at the house by 5am. With the encouragement of my doula, I tried different positions to get comfortable, such as lying in bed on my side, walking around with the help of my doula, squatting, sitting on the toilet to encourage my pelvis to open up and laying against the bed while she massaged my back.
At first, we were going to send the kids to my mother’s house, depending on what time I started to have contractions, but by the grace of God, they were in their rooms sleeping. They stayed asleep the whole time, which was surprising because they are usually up at least once in the middle of the night. By 7am, I was in active labor and proceeded to go to the birthing pool thirty minutes later. As soon as I got in the pool, I literally wanted to jump for joy because the water was so warm and felt so good. As soon as I sat in the water, my body immediately felt relaxed! I felt so comfortable that I fell into a deep sleep in between contractions.
With every contraction I wanted to just yell out, but the doula helped me relax and “breath the baby down” through each contraction. Thinking about it now, yelling and fidgeting would only have made me more tense, which would not promote the decent of baby or the opening of my pelvis. By 8am, I was so over it and just wanted this baby to come out! I asked the midwife to check my cervix, to which she let me know that I wasn’t fully dilated yet. She encouraged me to position myself and lean against the pool. It was so hard to get on my knees and lean against the pool. I’m so glad my doula and hubby were there to help. Once I leaned against the pool, all I remember is falling asleep again, until another contraction woke me up. By 9am, my son woke up and came to the room and I immediately felt a sense of panic because I didn’t want him to be traumatized, but of course my superhero big boy was not phased at all. During another strong contraction, my son whispered to me “mommy you can do it”. I can’t even begin to describe how powerful that made me feel. Minutes later, I felt a stronger contraction and got on all four in the pool and felt the urge to push. I yelled out to the midwife and her assistant asking if it’s okay to push, because she just told me that I wasn’t fully dilated, but she calmly reassured me that my body knows what to do and to just do what my body is telling me to do. After a few pushes baby came out… at 9:29am. At that point we still didn’t know whether baby was a boy or girl. After a while of sitting in the pool, holding baby, they checked and told us that it was a girl! After a while of skin to skin in the pool, they helped me out to sit on the birthing stool to deliver the placenta. My experience giving birth at home was dramatically different from giving birth in the hospital. If/when I get pregnant again, I would most certainly give birth at home again. It was such a peaceful experience. It flowed the way I envisioned, and the atmosphere was set with hubby’s prayers and my playlist (Maverick City, Jackson Chery and Rodlin Pierre on repeat). I was blessed enough to find the perfect doula and midwife and a supportive husband who made the experience that much more glorious.
I hope more mamas consider having a homebirth!
My midwife and her assistant empowered me throughout the entire process, my doula provided so much education, resources and support, my husband kept affirming me and encouraging me and my sisterfriend kept reminding me of how I’m handling this whole journey like a thug lol. I loved all of it. I needed all of it. I consider myself a strong person, but this season I needed the affirmation, support and encouragement due to the fear of complication or even death that came knocking at my door. I spent too many days sitting with and entertaining anxiety. Admist COVID and all the RIPs flooding social media, I feared we would be hit too. I thought about all the mamas who didn’t have this type of support, all the mamas who had to give birth alone in the hospital, and all the mamas who suffered complications because of the lack of medical care, and I just knew that couldn’t keep this journey to myself. I am not a medical professional, and homebirths may not be for everyone, so I would definitely advise any mama considering it to seek professional guidance to make sure you are a candidate for home birth. Aside from COVID, there are various reasons why I chose to give birth at home.
I just hope more mamas consider giving birth at home. As my midwife and doula stated, you have the right to choose how you give birth. And I am so happy with the choice I made this 4th time around! With all that said my loves, meet Mia Joy Osias!
Well I actually did two things. Welcome to my blog! Don’t be a stranger, get cozy and don’t forget to subscribe. I have some amazing things in store! Talk to you soon!
For information regarding my midwife and doula please visit: